I’ve never considered myself to be beautiful. It was not the kind of compliment that was given out in my family. Intelligent, yes. Pretty? No.

Because of that I have allowed myself to be intimidated by beauty over the years. As if good looks had some sort of additional value. As if it makes you a superior person. How silly.

In fact, on more than one occasion, I’ve seen people who appeared attractive at first glance, but then seemed forever ugly to me once they opened their cruel or ignorant or self-absorbed or racist mouths.

Now I actually feel sorry for beautiful people, because beauty fades. It must be quite upsetting to have something that you set great store by, and then have that thing slowly slip away like sand through an hourglass. And if you are used to certain advantages, such as more attention from the opposite sex, and therefore haven’t made much of an effort to work on having a pleasing and attractive personality, when your looks diminish, you’re left with nothing.

There’s also a number of problems on the opposite end of the spectrum. Perhaps you are beautiful and are also blessed with a great deal of personality and intelligence. The problem with that is that many people aren’t going to take the time to look past the surface. They’re not going to take you seriously. That’s got to be frustrating as well.

And you’d always wonder if people like you for you, or because you look good on their arm. That’s a concern I’ve never had to have. I also don’t have to worry about being seen in public without makeup, or gaze anxiously in the mirror at my crows’ feet. I’m not even sure if I have them. I have much better things to do with my time.

So, yeah, it was painful when I was young to not get asked out to the prom, but in the long run, I honestly think I came out on top. Life is what’s beautiful. Friends and loved ones are what matter.

Inner Flames Inner Beauty by ClareMaria Vrindaji Bowman at
Inner Flames Inner Beauty by ClareMaria Vrindaji Bowman at

10 thoughts on “Beauty?

  1. Irene

    That’s a lovely philosophy, I’ve never judged people by their looks, personality has always been first and foremost for me. In my opinion, everyone has their own beauty. I have been considered very pretty throughout my life, although I’ve never looked at myself in that way, would rather people like me for me, rather than my looks, always. It’s the spiirit of a person that makes them naturally attractive, in my opinion.

    I’ve also known plain looking people, who have turned out to be not so nice, once I’ve got to know them, and have thought to myself, not only are you plain looking on the outside, you are extremely ugly on the inside. Jealousy probably plays a part in this, especially in younger people who may struggle with low self esteem. I think the bottom line is, you can’t make judgments, until you know people, whether they’re good looking or not, an ugly spirit can show itself in either. Interesting blog. Thank you.

    1. This is why I’ve never agreed with the saying, “Beauty is skin deep.” It’s well meaning, but misleading. Actually, they should say that beauty shines from deep inside.
      Thanks for your comments Irene. They’re always thought provoking.

  2. To be honest, when I first saw your photo, I thought you were very pretty. But I agree with you. My attraction to a person is more than just perfect dimensions/cheekbones/skin .. you know what I mean! I have, so many times, walked away cause someone who was physically gorgeous just had bullshit come out of their mouths!

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