When you love someone, it seems as though you develop your own special language. This language is full of cultural references, but they often spring from a culture of two. You can speak this language in the presence of others and no one else will understand.
The more you do this, the more special you start to feel. It’s like a drug. The underlying message is, “You mean enough to me to share secrets with.” “You understand me like no one else can.” “We share things that we’ve never shared with others.” “We have a common history to draw upon.”
The other day as I was waking up and still half in a dream, I heard my late boyfriend whispering in my ear. “You are my woman-stash. More so than Mouse.” And it brought happy tears to my eyes. When I started to write this entry, I planned to go on and explain what that means, but on second thought, I think I’ll keep it to myself. Suffice it to say it’s the highest compliment he could possibly give me.
I hope someday I get to feel that special again.