The other day I got home from work and let the dogs out into the back yard to play. My new little dachshund came running back in almost immediately, looking quite pleased with himself and carrying a ripe, unpeeled banana.
Just let that sink in for a minute.
Now, here are some facts. I do not own a banana tree. I haven’t purchased bananas in about a year, as I’ve found that the store-bought bananas taste horrible in this state. (They’re probably picked dark green for transport, and are flavorless as a result.) So I was definitely not the source of this fruity invader.
Could a neighbor have tossed one over the fence for some reason? I haven’t seen a human inhabiting the house behind me in many, many months. I asked the neighbors to my left if they knew anything about it, and they were stumped. They love my dogs, and sometimes will give them the occasional treats, but I’m quite certain it wouldn’t occur to them to give my boys a banana, peeled or otherwise. I do have neighbors to my right, but our yards are separated by dense, bramble-filled, thick vegetation.
So that leaves, pretty much, dropping from the sky or alien invasion. I don’t see a peregrine falcon or a bald eagle being interested in a banana, and their talons would have made mincemeat of it. I doubt a banana would remain intact if it dropped from an airplane (or a spaceship, for that matter). This banana, in fact, was a fine specimen. I’d have been tempted to eat it myself if it weren’t for the dog tooth punctures and the questionable origins.
So I’m just going to have to accept the fact that this is just another one of life’s great mysteries, and move on. That would be a lot easier to do if the exact same thing hadn’t happened the very next day. This time, though, the banana was heading toward overripe. Quality control spirals ever downward, it seems.
I waited with great anticipation on day three, but… nothing. I hate cliffhangers. Especially when it’s pretty obvious I’ll be left dangling.