The Great Banana Mystery

The other day I got home from work and let the dogs out into the back yard to play. My new little dachshund came running back in almost immediately, looking quite pleased with himself and carrying a ripe, unpeeled banana.

Just let that sink in for a minute.

Now, here are some facts. I do not own a banana tree. I haven’t purchased bananas in about a year, as I’ve found that the store-bought bananas taste horrible in this state. (They’re probably picked dark green for transport, and are flavorless as a result.) So I was definitely not the source of this fruity invader.

Could a neighbor have tossed one over the fence for some reason? I haven’t seen a human inhabiting the house behind me in many, many months. I asked the neighbors to my left if they knew anything about it, and they were stumped. They love my dogs, and sometimes will give them the occasional treats, but I’m quite certain it wouldn’t occur to them to give my boys a banana, peeled or otherwise. I do have neighbors to my right, but our yards are separated by dense, bramble-filled, thick vegetation.

So that leaves, pretty much, dropping from the sky or alien invasion. I don’t see a peregrine falcon or a bald eagle being interested in a banana, and their talons would have made mincemeat of it. I doubt a banana would remain intact if it dropped from an airplane (or a spaceship, for that matter). This banana, in fact, was a fine specimen. I’d have been tempted to eat it myself if it weren’t for the dog tooth punctures and the questionable origins.

So I’m just going to have to accept the fact that this is just another one of life’s great mysteries, and move on. That would be a lot easier to do if the exact same thing hadn’t happened the very next day. This time, though, the banana was heading toward overripe. Quality control spirals ever downward, it seems.

I waited with great anticipation on day three, but… nothing. I hate cliffhangers. Especially when it’s pretty obvious I’ll be left dangling.

Probably the same fool who tossed a banana into my back yard. [Image credit:]

15 thoughts on “The Great Banana Mystery

  1. I’ve experienced a rouge banana situation also. .. I was camping and had thrown 3 bananas away in the dumpster 200 feet away. The next morning, 3 unpeeled bananas were left on my rv steps. Same aliens perhaps?

  2. Angiportus

    Dogs are as crazy as cats. My mom had a golden retriever who brought home all manner of things, many not desirable, but there was a perfectly good teakettle which Mom still uses, and a functional wristwatch. When I heard about this, I said I always knew that dog would be a good watchdog…

  3. lyn sutton

    This is enough to drive you bananas…hope you solve the mystery before your dogs drag in something worse than an over ripe fruit.

  4. lyn sutton

    This mystery has plagued me all day. Of course your first assumption should be that Quagmire is a shape shifting monkey, but if such conventional logic doesn’t apply, might I pose several alternative possibilities…inter-dimensional crossover banana glitch or experimental time travel fruit anomaly.

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