The Ides of Trump

Today is the day when (I hope) many of us will be mailing a postcard to the White House to express our dissatisfaction with the current administration. This movement is being called “The Ides of Trump,” although I sincerely hope that no one wants him assassinated like Julius Caesar. I know I certainly don’t. I wouldn’t wish that on anybody. And the last thing on earth that we need is to turn a man of such low caliber into a martyr for his warped cause.

I have been putting a great deal of thought into what I’d like my postcard to say. I realize that he’ll never read it. With each passing day, evidence mounts that he’s functionally illiterate.

The best I can hope for is that my card will be stored in some dusty archival box for historians of the future. So I’m just looking at it as an opportunity to vent my spleen. It will be a chance to purge myself of toxins that have been building up for months.

It would be easy to fill this card with curses and insults. (I must admit that I’ve been dying to use the term “shitgibbon” since the first time I heard it.) But all of that would be a waste of a perfectly good postcard.

There is so much I’d like to say to him. Where to begin? I’m kind of imagining what I would say if I had ten seconds of his undivided, one-on-one attention. Here’s what springs to mind so far:

  • You seem to forget that you work for all of us now.

  • If you really want any respect, you need to get rid of Bannon.

  • You’re fired.

  • I didn’t vote for you, and I’ll do all I can to resist you.

  • Are you having fun? I suspect not.

  • Do us all a favor and quit.

  • You are the worst thing that has ever happened to this country.

  • Global warming isn’t the hoax. You are.

  • I can’t wait ’til we make America great again by firing you and all your cronies.

  • I’m a woman, I vote, and I’m sick and tired of your disrespect.

  • Deport yourself. Leave everyone else alone.

  • You are a tiny little fraction of a man.

  • History will remember you as a destructive little joke.

  • Shame on you.

  • Do you believe your own lies? If so, get help.

  • Thank you for waking us all up and being the poster child for what we don’t want for our country.

  • Sad.

By the time you read this, my postcard is already in the mail. It will probably include some combination of a few of the suggestions above. Feel free to use any or all of them yourself. What would you say to Trump, if given the chance?

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10 thoughts on “The Ides of Trump

  1. First I’ve heard of this, actually. I’m not sure he’s worth the postage (or paper, ink, solvents, electricity, gasoline, steel, aluminum, rubber, pavement, asphalt, etc.), and it’s easy enough to insult him via Twitter. The problem with trying to insult our president-inator, though, is that anything anyone could come up with would be a gross insult to the object of comparison. For example, from the above list, poster children, hoaxes, and tiny little fractions all have useful functions… 😉

  2. lyn sutton

    You have no power over me…

    When a narcissist manipulates for attention with their chaos it’s usually destructive to feed that beast. It only grows stronger. He’ll see the postcards as confirmation of power and secretly covet their growing numbers while blaming the scapegoat of the day for having orchestrated another attack on him. Maybe if we focus on fixing or strengthening the things he threatens or abuses, without writing him into the narrative, we’ll starve the beast out of existence. Sounds impossible but we can start small… a ban on reacting to him personally or speaking his name for one day. If we can’t go one day… maybe we’re addicted. 😮

  3. Lynn Fitz-Hugh

    My favorite one was ” Climate change is not a hoax you are!” Thanks for that. I disagree with the person above who said the post cards would feed his narcissism. Narcissists are very upset by criticism and negative attention…which is why he has such a thin skin.

    1. You’re so right! He is, indeed, thin skinned. But I suspect he’ll never see a single one of these postcards. And if he does, he can’t really read, so unless someone has the courage to read them to him… and who would want to experience that wrath? Still, I’m glad I sent mine in. It was cleansing.

  4. Seattle Park Lover

    I sent five cards. They were all pretty pictures of Seattle, so even if they all get dumped in the recycling hopefully some postal workers enjoyed them at least. I picked a different topic for each one, like health care, the environment, etc.

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