Yes, I spelled that the way I intended to. This isn’t a rant on fluoride. (And that is a controversial topic. Fluoride is a very toxic chemical, but at the same time putting it in water has drastically reduced infant mortality rates and… I digress.)
No, the topic for today is how I stick out like tits on a boar hog. Yep. That’s an expression that wouldn’t likely escape the mouth of your average Seattleite. It’s my Florida coming out.
And that’s ironic, because I was born in Connecticut. I lived there for the first 10 years of my life, and when we arrived in Florida I had pretty much convinced myself that I had been abandoned in a third world country. I looked down my nose at all things Floridian. Indeed, it was about two years before I learned anything new in school, and I never felt comfortable in the conservative, fundamentalist Baptist atmosphere there. I spent the rest of my life up to this point desperately trying to leave.
So in spite of the nearly 40 years I lived there, I always felt like an outsider. I wouldn’t, couldn’t blend in, and therefore I pretty much assumed I had escaped unscathed. But now that I’m in the Pacific Northwest, I realize for the first time that I have a Southern streak across my being that is colored a vivid Florida orange. I don’t really speak with a Florida accent, but I inadvertently lay it on pretty thick depending on who I talk to. And my speech is peppered with Florida expressions. “Y’all”, “fixin’ to”, “cattywampus”.
And when properly inspired I am quite good at laying on that Southern sugary politeness which is actually blatant hostility upon closer inspection. That takes practice. It’s not for sissies.
I can’t take Seattle insects seriously. I have to laugh when people freak out when a tiny little slow moving bug crosses their path. In Florida the bugs are on steroids, and have the size and aggression to prove it.
And I find myself craving cornbread. (But not grits. I never was that bad.) And the tomatoes here are horrible.
I seem to move slower than everyone around me, although it will be interesting to see if that’s still the case when the weather turns cold. Washingtonians also have a peculiar idea about what’s “relatively flat.” And I just can’t relate to doing yard work in the rain.
And while I’m much, MUCH happier in the liberal environs of Seattle, I doubt anyone will ever mistake me for a native. Somewhere along the way I became Floridated. Florida-ized? Floridified?
Whatever, y’all.
[Image credit: Pinterest]
The View from a Drawbridge 
Ever since I moved from home when I was 21, I have been an outsider. I moved from the Midwest to the south. Lived in the south for 20 years, so picked up the accent and the idioms. So I say that saying too, tits on a boar hog, ya’ll, fixin’ to. All of them and probably a few more. I have Midwestern lingo, Texan lingo, Southern lingo and now Canadian lingo in my repertoire. So you can imagine how people scratch their heads when talking to me. But I enjoy the heck out of it. When I moved to Alberta Canada, people always asked me where I was from. I’d grin and say in my best southern accent, ‘Why I’m from southern Alberta!’. I found it’s actually a great ice breaker and people just love southern accents. When I go back home to visit in Wisconsin, they love to hear me talk. So it’s all good. Embrace your ways girl. It’s fun and people are drawn to others with accents. Use it to your advantage! I do. 😉
And Wisconsin has always been interesting to me, too, because to me it seems like the women have a different accent than the men. Accents fascinate me.
I would have thought the weather would be what annoyed you the most
It probably will be, but a) I’ve been lucky so far. The weather is great. And b) I hated the blistering heat and humidity of Florida, so take your pick. 🙂
multiple choice… yay
Well, being a “New Yorker” for the first 18 years of my life, I totally relate to what you’re saying! The drive across country was a culture shock for li’l ole sheltered me. I still call things the way I was raised calling them, aka: soda (is not pop), sneakers (are not tennis shoes), flip flops (are not thongs), bags (are not sacks)…etc…
I thought I would NEVER get used to being on the W. Coast. I actually spent my first 10 years of living here (West Coast) trying to figure out how to get back “home”. After about 17 years of living here (almost as long as I was an East Coaster), I now feel this is my home.
When I go back East to visit family, the pace is WAY too fast for me and I see how I have become kinda blended over the years.
You’ll find where you fit in. It takes a lot of time to either make-it or break-it in Seattle. If you can get through the first 3 years, it’s smooth sailing. BUT, if you find yourself really struggling, there are also LOTS of other more mellow, relaxed, liberal areas of the W. Coast. Portland is where a lot of people go when they want a liberal and slower paced lifestyle.
I love a lot about this city we live in! One of which is the fact that we’re close to just about everything you could want: water, countryside, city livin’, farmer’s markets, ferry’s to remote islands, etc…
There’s no place like home. The trick is to figure out where home is.